Tallis Boyd - Coach Tallis, or “Coach” is often confused with rap sensation Macklemore. Making sure he is always up on the latest hip trends so his style will match his slick hairdo. Despite being so stylish and smooth talking, he suffers with serious case of self-consciousness. This is because of his younger and far cooler brother happens to play on the team and is always showing him up. This is his first year as “head coach” so he is definitely feeling the pressure.
Favorite Thing to do: Make the team run sprints Nicknames: General Mack, The General, Macklemore, National Champ
Jason Tschida - Captain Senior - Handler Somehow Jason has been elected to be captain for 3 whole years despite being the least liked person in the entire country. He enjoys wetting the bed, watching car accidents, and the occasional fart. His body has an uncanny ability to handle whatever he puts in it, which often is a bunch of eegs (he never learned they were called eggs) or lays potato chips. Other teams are utterly terrified of his ability, something he hasn’t shown since nationals 2012 when he pulled his hammy and has been “injured” ever since.
Activities outside of Frisbee: Doing yoga, getting fired from Frito Lay, Running really fast Nicknames: Chester, Cheetah, Chester the Molester Celebrity Look-Alike: Tsimfukis Favorite Youtube Video: Tsimfukis fights a pillow
Josh Klane - Captain 4th year Junior - Handler His past was filled with more fat than a Twinky, yet at some point he realized he wanted to be totally swagged out on nike gear so he hit the gym. He thinks he is the most jacked Frisbee player around. He is not. There is never a moment he isn’t bragging about his multiple gold medals from international Frisbee tournaments and being selected for the 6th grade Hopkins basketball team that featured Royce White and Colin “8 goal” Camp. Klane can be heard screaming 2 Chainz lyrics or seen buying something off Eastbay, his favorite website. On a side note, no one enjoys making out with their dog as much as Josh.
Lifelong Dream: Becoming a professional Frisbee player. Nickname: 2Klainz Pokemon Character: Snorlax Favorite Reason for skipping practice: “I had to poop”
Reese Hornnes - Captain Senior - Cutter After spending a year off because of an apparent “ACL tear” Reese is nearing his return. Hopefully he can be as fast as before because everyone knows his swinging ability is sub par. He is still heartbroken over his breakup with teammate and pretty boy Rein after Reese shared a queso dip one late night in Iowa with Tschida.
Strengths: Accounting, Yelling, Muscles Favorite Food: Turkey sandwiches Favorite quote: “Don’t test the Hornnes nest!” – some nexgen commentator Favorite memory: Playing Pittsburgh at Stanford in 2011
Alex Platt-Koch Senior - Cutter Platt’s real name is Alex, and he managed to keep that a secret for his first 3 years on the team. He hails from the Chicago area which really has no relevance at all. The most impressive thing he ever did was develop the greatest rating scale since the pass/fail system was created, the area code system. He also really really likes drinking Pepsi Max and Playing Bass for his band, Ménage Quad.
Favorite Body Part: Pecs Nicknames: Platt, Plattinum, Favorite Drinks: Pepsi Max
Ben Swanson-Hysell Senior - Cutter Thanks to being the skinniest thing this side of the Mississippi, and having the grace and flair of a ballet dancer, Ben acquired the nickname Natalie Portman. Ben runs really fast and jumps really high which happens to work out great for GreyDuck. His older brother also played frisbee, however he played for hated rival Carleton College. Its a touchy subject...
Favorite Foods: All forms of Kale, Veggies & Pasta Nicknames: Natalie Portman, Black Swan, Swyzell Worst vacation: Teaching Australians how to play baseball
Brandon Haus Senior - Cutter What cannot be said about Brandon that cannot be said about a tall tree in winter? He is too tall, too skinny, and really really awkward. Brandon calls time outs at all the wrong times, and thoroughly enjoys ralphing on others peoples couches, clothes, shoes, and even into his own hands when he gets a chance. Even though he is on a 6,000 calorie a day diet and eats 7 bowls of cereal for breakfast he cannot gain any weight. He happens to be the holder of the worst nicknames in the country and is constantly trying to rip off other people jokes because he has no sense of humor himself.
Cloid Green 10th year Grad Student - Cutter Cloid is very old. No one is sure exactly how old he is, but he has a wife and probably some kids too. We think he joined the team so he could “feel young” again, or relive his "glory days." He walks with a cane off the field, and his wife makes some pretty good banana bread. One time Cloid and Tschida entered a “Cutest Father-Son Contest” in Missouri, sadly they took 6th out of 8.
Outside of Frisbee activities: Raking leaves, widdling, smoking a pipe, driving his Oldsmobile Nicknames: Grandpa Cloid, House Dad, Team dad, Gramps Favorite Meal: Prunes, Spam Sandwich, and a side of baked beans
Connor Anderson Sophomore - Cutter Connor made the team mostly because he is short. GreyDuck hates having players that are over 5’8 so naturally he was immediately near the top of the list. He really enjoys skiing, snowboarding, and all other things outdoors. Connor has a lifetime dream (Keep in mind he wouldn't tell anyone for over a half hour what it was because he didn't want us to "steal the idea") of opening up a Lacrosse/Smoothie/Sandwich shop with his friends. It is to be called Anderson's Lax & Snax.
Grant Kregness Freshman - Cutter Grant is many things. He is the team’s most annoying kid, and he is also an Evan’s Scholar. He missed his first tournament on greyduck because he "overslept" his alarm, then tried to get someone to drive back and get him. Grant doesn’t have a meal plan, meaning he brings about as much value to the team as Magikarp. Basically all he does is flop around.
Pokemon Character: Magikarp Nickname: Toast (he is always getting burned) Favorite Sex Position: Abstinence Outside of frisbee activities: Carrying Golf bags, Playing Jazz Sax
Isaac Howard Freshman - Cutter Isaac has a 60 inch vertical which is absolutely why he made the team. He has no filter on what he says, so he often says hilarious things. In high school he was voted “Most Positive” in his class because he is always happy and smiling about something. If you're feeling sad, he is definitely the guy you want around. Dwight is also the nicest kid on the team by a mile, so Patrick is very jealous of his uncanny ability to woo the ladies.
Nicknames: Da-White Howard Movie Character: Alfalfa – Little rascals Favorite TV Show: This old house
Isaac Miller Ruff Sophomore - Cutter Everyone’s favorite story involving Isaac is when some kid told Isaac his sweater was ugly. Naturally they took it to the garage where they went at it shirtless. Isaac used his length and athleticism to beat this dweeb senseless until Isaac “slipped” and fell on his back only to end up losing the fight. Regardless, Isaac has the best boxing game of any player in the country, and uses the best verbs on the team. He makes sure his outfit “Wangs” every morning, and his “Lettuce” is fresh. Whatever that means.
Strengths: Wardrobe, Vocabulary, Having a rough friend group Weaknesses: A cute smile and a mini skirt Favorite movie: Hardball Pokemon Character: Hitmonchan
Jasper Weinrich-Burd Grad Student - Handler Jasper is a grad student from upstate New York. He is pretty small with spicy quick throws, and is getting a PHD is math. Meaning he is too nerdy for his own good.
Nickname: Jasper the friendly Ghost Female celebrity crush: Xena warrior princess Favorite Movies: Star Wars Trilogy (The originals, not that new crap)
Joe Nelson 3rd Year sophomore - handler Joe was on the team 2 years ago when we took our last trip to nationals, but took last year off. He is back and meaner than ever. He once punched Soham in the face during a high school game leading to a 2 game suspension. Although it is super lame, he is always seen wearing his G.I. Joe belt buckle. .
Favorite Song: Party Rock Anthem Tattoos? His left bicep features a Phoenix. He says its for ‘rebirth” but we all know that its for Dumbledore Nicknames: Dancin D Joe, TapOut Joe Weirdest Hobby: Playing with, taking pictures of, and loving his cat way too much.
Josh Kautz Sophomore - Cutter The only thing Josh loves more than life itself is being a part of GreyDuck. He can always be found twirling a disc in his hands. Whenever he updates his facebook status it involves how hard he worked at practice and how excited he is for the upcoming tournament. He also makes a mean highlight video, and is in love with the girls team. One time at a team dinner he winked his way into the waitress calling him “The Most Charming”. The rest of the team is still trying to figure it out. Major: Computer science Favorite article of Clothing: His Orange Patagonia vest Nickname: Kautz Team Jacob or Team Edward? Team Edward all the way
Justin Hill Sophomore - Handler Justin is a transfer student from Duluth and happens to be one of Patrick’s best friends, showing he has questionable judgement. He is very tall, relatively quiet, and secretly believes he has the most swag on the team (Don’t worry, he doesn’t). He made the team so we could give someone the nickname Turtle. So far Justin has had by far the best jokes in the GroupMe, proving that timing really is everything.
Nickname: Turtle Favorite Clothing: His blue Patagonia R1 Major: Double majoring in Swag and Chemistry. Favorite Dream he ever had: He visited candy land, met King Kandy, then tossed a hard candy disc with Jennifer Lawrence for hours on end.
Andrew Johnson Grad Student - Cutter Andrew ‘KJ” Johnson is a grad student from St. Johns University who is attempting to become a high school history teacher. Which is funny. He was once told that he had the best beard on the team by a waitress, but then she revoked it and gave the title to Tallis. KJ also happens to be the biggest sucker for love GreyDuck has ever seen.
Nickname: KY Jelly, Teachers Pet Favorite Movie: Under the Tuscan Sun Pokemon Character: Riachu
Lloyd Vogel Grad Student - Cutter Lloyd is this year’s resident ginger, and despite popular YouTube folklore we believe he in fact has a soul. He spends his summers hiking through the Alaskan wilderness for months on end. He does not have a cell phone because he doesn’t believe in technology. Like Ben, he eats way too much kale and also intensely enjoys a good cup of oatmeal. It has to be steel cut oats though, not that Quaker stuff.
Nickname: Pretty Boy Lloyd Favorite part of Frisbee: Skying dorks, throwing flicks very fast Dream Vacation: Climbing to the top of Mt. Everest Favorite Quote: “Only the mountain has lived long enough to listen objectively to the howl of the wolf.” - Aldo Leopold
Michael Fields Senior - Cutter Michael loves nothing more in life than Kansas basketball. He can tell you results from any game dating back to the 1930’s, because he clearly has his priorities straight. The future holds a fruitless life of being a small town doctor who gets to listen to Grandma Betty talk about how her cats have been restless since the long winter of 95. He once flew from Norway to Minneapolis just so he could see his favorite musician B.o.B. perform at homecoming. He loved every second.
Nickname: Mike, Big Mike Favorite Activity Outside of Frisbee: Watching KU, Studying, Talking about his friend Trey who may or may not be imaginary, going to B.o.B concerts Hidden Talent: Knowing all of the original Pokemon.
Neil Peterson Sophomore - Cutter Neil might be the weirdest GreyDuck player ever. We know that is really saying a lot, but its what we believe. When he isn’t plundering ships at sea, he enjoys yelling gibberish at the guys he defends.
Nickname: Neil the Pirate, Pirate Pete Favorite Bands: Metallica, anything with a heavy dose of screaming. Favorite Greyduck Memory: Being spit on by Rein Goal In life: Finding the Dead Man's Chest
Patick Hyland Sophomore - Handler Even with his boyish physique, Patrick has never had problems wooing the ladies with his suave moves and charming smile. He struggles overcoming unbelievable awkwardness and the demons of past Halloweens in which his sexy nurse outfit only led to heartbreak. He likes to “slang it” when he is on the field, yet no one remembers what that looks like because he has somehow managed to be injured with something new every single practice since joining the team.
Nicknames: F.D. Daddy, Papa Smooth, Fatrick Favorite TV Show: Boy Meets World, Real World: Cancun Celebrity Crush: Barney Stinson Favorite Dream: He was sitting at the bus stop when a girl told him he looked like Ryan Gosling
Rein Boyd Senior - Handler Rein is the younger and better looking Boyd of the team. It was also recently stated that he is the “less awkward” one of the two. Rein's lack of speed and skill is definitely made up for off the field where he can often be heard making witty remarks or “winning” the party, usually at the expense of other players on the team. Rein also used to be extremely fat. His parents love taking photos. This winning combination is made apparent on the family photo wall. He is still upset with Reese over the queso dip.
Ryan Osgar Junior - Cutter With Ryan’s god like body, he has never been shy of the spotlight. Ryan is studying economics and when asked why he plays college frisbee his response was, "Isn't is obvious? For the Girls."
Strengths: Charming Favorite Musician: John Mayer Favorite Instrument: Acoustic Guitar Favorite Quote: Just because there is a goalie doesn't mean you cant score
Saurav Dubey Freshman - Handler Saurav is one of this years prized freshman from Chicago. Suarav would rather snap chat girls from his math class, then anything else. Currently in his bulking phase, he has gotten his weight up to a dainty 127 pounds. He eats even more than Brandon, but is gaining weight at a hilariously slow pace.
Nickname: Doobey, Richard Parker Favorite Movies: Life of Pi, The untouchables Power animal: Tiger Favorite Movie Character: Spock
Soham Shah Junior - Handler Oh Soham! Everyone either loves Soham or hates him with similar passion to that of the hatred we share for the Carleton Cuddlebugs. Soham is probably the team's smartest person, knowing him he will probably be a doctor. His forehand has the same quick strike ability to that of a Cobra and is equally as Venomous. He really enjoys sleeping on the floor while simultaneously watching Anime. Onetime at a team party he spent an hour yelling at a captain while also wearing a bike helmet for safety.
Nickname: Sohelmet Favorite Quote: Everyday is Helmet day! Best excuse for missing a tournament: Writing a lab report Pokemon Character: Arbok
Anthony Poletto Freshman - Handler Tony is the other freshman from Kanye’s birthing place. In many respects he resembles a young Jason Tschida, except for the fact that Tony doesn’t’ smell funny, and he actually is a decent human being. Tony comes from the long line of Neuqua Valley Frisbee dorks, and is poised to bring glory to Grey Duck. At his first tournament with Grey Duck he learned how to hit on girls and how to scrap Dubey with a fierce ground attack. Tony is this years odds on favorite to win “Weirdest Freshman on Spring break” award. Pokemon Character: Diglet Nicknames: Tony the Tiger, Tony Mist Favorite Movie: The Sandlot Role on Team: Throwing awful high release backhands followed by getting a sweet layout D.
Tristan Van de Moortele Sophomore - Handler/Cutter Tristan has been quick to assert himself as a total boss on the field this year. He has a golden mop of hair to go along with his slippery flick. Tristan is always reminding us that he is a French national, and that we eat like peasants. Go eat a baguette Tristan!
Favorite activity: Speaking French. Favorite Memory: Visiting the Louvre in 2011 If he could go to any period in time: He would go back and join Napoleon as he took over the world. Nicknames: Frenchy
Vincent Vik Senior - Handler Vince, also known as “The president” can be seen wandering campus his Raging Safari State champs jersey constantly screaming “Ooh Yeaahh”. He has one of the silkiest backhands around, always has a smile on his face, and is the 4th most awkward dater on the team. Vince really enjoys any movie and old timey music that his dad listens to.
Secret Talents: Being really good at dumb iPhone games, knowing every word to every song ever written. Especially Miley Cyrus Nicknames: Vinny Del Negro, Vincente, President Favorite Movie: Legend of Bagger Vance Favorite Quote: You Chunky!
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